The Spaghetti Method

A Messy but Brilliant Way to Find Purpose

Feb 05, 2025

Time and time again, people ask me how to build a life of purpose. My answer is always the same: You don’t find purpose—you build it. But before you can start building, you need a foundation. I call these purpose anchors—the sparks of curiosity, joy, and fulfillment that give you something to construct your purpose around.

So, how do you find your purpose anchors? One powerful way is what I call The Spaghetti Method.

What Is the Spaghetti Method?

The Spaghetti Method is simple: Throw a bunch of things against the wall and see what sticks. Say yes to experiences you’d normally decline. Try things outside your comfort zone. Do something that makes you a little uncomfortable and see how it feels. Does it light you up? Does it bring you joy? If the answer is yes, you may have found something worth building into your life.

Putting the Spaghetti Method to the Test

Right now, I’m in the middle of my own Spaghetti Method experiment. A good friend of mine, Vincent Pugliesi, runs mastermind groups for entrepreneurs and recently launched a unique event called The Unconference. Instead of structured talks, the event consists of 100 handpicked attendees who engage in unstructured, meaningful conversations over two days.

Normally, I wouldn’t go to something like this. While I have businesses, I don’t consider myself an active entrepreneur, nor do I focus on membership programs like many of the attendees. But Vincent is someone I trust, and I saw this as the perfect chance to put the Spaghetti Method into action.

So, I said yes.

What Happened When I Stepped Outside My Comfort Zone

As I write this, I’m a day and a half into The Unconference—and it’s been incredible. I’ve made unexpected connections, developed new business ideas, and even had the opportunity to coach others on finding purpose. I showed up as a novice in this space, but by leaning into the experience, I discovered a whole new avenue that excites me.

This event has given me fresh ideas for my own work. Maybe I’ll spend more time in entrepreneurial circles. Maybe I’ll create a coaching program tailored to purpose-driven entrepreneurs. Maybe I’ll revamp my mastermind group. Or maybe I’ll collaborate with some of the brilliant people I’ve met here.

Whatever happens next, one thing is clear: This was a purposeful use of my time.

The Power of Saying Yes

The biggest lesson? Purpose isn’t something you stumble upon—it’s something you cultivate. You don’t need to have all the answers before you take action. Start by throwing some spaghetti against the wall. Try new things. Say yes to unexpected opportunities. And pay attention to what sticks.

Because sometimes, the most meaningful paths begin with a little mess.