Why I’m Breaking Up with New Year’s Resolutions
Finding Lasting Happiness in the Joy of Becoming
Every year, the same ritual unfolds: New Year’s resolutions. They’re a cultural staple, but I’m not a fan. In fact, I think they’re a terrible idea. Let me explain why.
Resolutions are almost always goal-oriented. They’re tied to outcomes: losing a set amount of weight, earning a specific income, or landing a big promotion. The problem is, these goals rarely focus on the process. They don’t stem from loving what we do—jogging because we enjoy the rhythm of running, or pursuing a side hustle because the work itself excites us. Instead, we force ourselves into tasks we don’t enjoy for the sake of a result.
No wonder resolutions are so difficult to stick to. Essentially, we’re signing up to do something we dislike in the hope of achieving a greater good. And what happens? We join the gym or start the project in January, full of optimism, only to abandon it within weeks.
You could argue that this is because the task is hard or we fear failure. But I think the real reason is simpler: we don’t enjoy the journey. It’s a grind, and grinding rarely leads to lasting change.
If you loved doing it, it wouldn’t be a resolution. No one resolves to play more basketball if they already love it—they just play.
To me, New Year’s resolutions are the life equivalent of bucket list items. Like buying a new gadget or taking a grand trip, they promise a fleeting thrill. Sure, gurus might tell us to prioritize experiences over material possessions, but experiences, too, have a shelf life. Once they’re over, we return to our baseline level of happiness.
What if we reframed our approach? Instead of chasing resolutions or bucket-list experiences, what if we focused on becoming?
This is where the most enduring happiness lies—not in things we buy or experiences we have, but in the person we grow into. Becoming who we want to be is a process, one rooted in consistent, fulfilling actions.
Consider writing. You might set a resolution to publish a book, but the act of writing regularly—of putting pen to paper because it lights you up—is what makes you a writer. Publishing the book is secondary to the joy of the craft.
This is the power of what I call “little p” purpose. It’s the process-oriented activities that bring us joy and help us grow. They don’t depend on a specific outcome or arbitrary timeline. They’re about what fills us up and makes us who we want to be.
So, this year, instead of setting a resolution, ask yourself: what do I love doing? What lights me up? Do that. Do it regularly. Not for a goal, but for the sheer joy of the process. That’s where you’ll find lasting happiness.
Let’s stop chasing resolutions and start embracing purpose—one fulfilling moment at a time.
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